Change

Body of fire.
Warm on my neck.
And spreads down my back.
And trickling from the fingers that course my mind in circles…
And on my lips, the warmth breaks in and steals my breath…
And I can't breathe at all.

And your hands reach for me,
Your palms grip my heart, and you mold it.
As your fingers push down, I fall…
As my heart shapes up I think…
And as the colors start to communicate with one other, I see…
And my  thoughts are everywhere;
Twirling and scattered and running and jumping and exploding….
Your speaking and I'm trying so hard to listen…
All around me my thoughts seem to textuilize themselves, and  from the corners of my eyes thoughts in slanted font go by, chasing each other around the room…
I'm dizzy, and its warm, I notice.
And the voice in my head is so loud I swear you can hear it too.
And my heart pounds so hard in your hands, I swear you can feel it too.
The guilt makes me naueous and I can feel my mistake through my shirt.
I roll onto my side, and the words blur and float together as I shift my weight.
Then they define and swirl around some more.
I hear my name… but I don't mind… 'You can have it,' I think.
Even with all these words around me I can't find anything good to say.
Rendered speechless, I fall useless…
And I want to shut my eyes, but they just don't…
And I want to explain but I just can't…
And I want to be normal but I'm just not….
And I'm weak and I'm crying and I'm confused and I am wondering if some part of you feels the same….
And I am all here today but I guess I'm just not.
Whatever.
You can have it.